I'm asking a few things...in a sea of thought

ive always wondered why people ask for advice, and then never take it. would it be better for them not to ask? and do something stupid on their own? or follow the advice of someone they asked and fuck up on that person's advice? there are so many rules. rules. and things that you have to do.....when a certain situation occurs, there is this specified response for it. a man made response for a situation that has been created by a person. why is that? why can't i act the way i want and respond the way i like? because....because....

it's not all about me. i have to consider the other person's feelings. but when i do consider their feelings, i begin to lose myself. i'm dragged in. easily.....never forced. and by recognizing their feelings, i've forgotten about mine. isn't there a win/win to this? but how can there be compromise when everyone reacts differently to a situation. some prefer to avoid conflict, where others see a "discussion about conflict" as fighting, which i, for one, see as communication. with communication there must come a sense of understanding. i can't understand how one can ignore the situation and pretend it never happened. doesn't that hurt you. doesn't your soul cry out at night, desperately waiting for someone to listen to you? when there's no one to talk to at night, does your soul go prowling at night looking for the stars to give you comfort? 

oh, but i've never seen myself as a beggar. but it's all i do lately. begging you to notice me. to speak to me, to respond to me. to see me. see into me. and i wonder, is this selfish? and i get upset with myself for being so selfish. because it makes that other person feel like she never says the right thing. but what she doesn't know is that there isn't a right or wrong thing to say. just say something. because nothing feels like a gaping hole in my heart being pressed up against the wind. nothing becomes lost between the cosmos and the trees. but i assure you you can make something from nothing. because when you say nothing, i feel like nothing.